Waiting

I don’t know anyone who likes to wait for anything.  I certainly don’t.  Ever since my treatments concluded on February 21^st, I’ve been waiting to find out the results.  After a couple of months I was given a date for my follow-up PET scan (May 14^th) and an appointment to find out the results (May 16^th).  But before I could count on those dates I had to see my Radiology Oncologist one more time to make sure my throat was healed enough to actually do the PET scan.  I had that appointment today and everything is a go.  Now I’m waiting till next Monday for the scan.  The good news is I don’t have to wait quite as long for the results because I’ll be seeing my Dr. on the 15^th (next day) instead of the 16^th.  But it’s all been waiting.

No one knows the real value of waiting more than God.  Richard Foster in his classic, Celebration of Discipline” wrote, Superficiality is the curse of our age.  The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem.  The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”  That’s exactly what God wants for us, He wants us to be deep people.  And waiting is one of the best ways for that to happen when we are able to wait in faith.  But waiting in faith is not something that comes naturally to most people.  Instead, worry often takes center stage and captivates our lives.  But as one of my favorite preachers and authors says, “The difference between waiting and worrying is focus.”  When our focus is on God then worry begins to disappear.

My Dr. reiterated to me today that the expectation is the PET scan will be clear.  I love that about him, he has been positive and optimistic during the entire time I have seen him.  If that’s the case I’ll have another scan 6 months later which means…more waiting.  My prayer is that I’m going to get better at it as time goes by.  One of the things that I will do to try and help make that happen is read the first two verses of Psalm 62 over and over again.  My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation.  He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.  If waiting is a struggle for you then join me in this reading.  And pray for me…I’ll be praying for you.

Jesus cares,

Pastor Chris

Just Say It!

It’s Monday morning and I’m in my office enjoying a feeling of normalcy that I haven’t experienced in a long time.  I can walk down the hall and greet my staff, I can see people sitting in the Connection Café enjoying a cup of coffee and I can hear the preschool class that meets directly below my office. 

Now I know better than anyone that I’ve still got a long way to go until real normalcy returns.  I’ve got Dr.’s appointments and I’ve got a date with a PET scan that will tell me if the treatments were successful and the cancer is gone.  But I’m enjoying the ability to “live in the moment” which is something that all of us needs to do regardless of our circumstance.  And one of the most important aspects of living in the moment is making sure you let the people who are closest to you know how much you love and appreciate them. 

In the movie Love Actually, Hugh Grants character says in the introduction, “When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge.  They were all messages of love.”  We should think about that for a minute.  I think everyone would agree that there’s something about difficulty and tragedy that causes you to see and understand what really matters.  That’s something that we know but often forget.  I can think of a lot of things that seemed really important to me before my diagnosis that seem of little consequence today.  What does seem important to me is making sure that the people in my life know how much I love them…how much I value them…how empty my life would be without them.  That’s something I don’t ever want to lose sight of. 

I think we can see that the apostle Paul understood how important this is when he writes things like, I thank God every time I think of you, in Philippians 1:3.  That’s just one example…his New Testament writings are filled with these kinds of words. 

If you take the time to listen you will find that most people don’t have any problem telling you how they feel about things like politics or sports or any number of other worldly things.  But how much time do we spend making sure we tell other people what we think and how we feel about them?  That has become a renewed priority for me and I hope it will become a one for you as well.  Who do you need to talk to today?  Who do you need to write a note or send a card to today?  Who needs to hear, “I love you” or “I thank God for you” or “I don’t know where I’d be without you?” from you today?  Don’t wait for some kind of trial or tragedy to remind you how important this is…do it today!

Jesus cares,

Pastor Chris

P.S. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.  I continue to make great progress in my healing from the treatments.  I’m taking all my “food” by mouth now and not using my feeding tube.  In fact, last night when we were “flushing” the tube it actually came out of my stomach on its own.  My mouth and throat aren’t completely healed and so I’m limited in what I can eat but I’m making progress.  Please continue to pray for my mouth and throat to heal and please continue to pray that my follow-up PET scan (yet to be scheduled) will show that the treatments worked and the cancer is gone.  I love and appreciate all of you and am so thankful for your encouragement and prayers.  I thank God every time I think of you! 

Positive Attitude

In the book, Strengthening Your Grip, Charles Swindoll writes, “Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.”

From the beginning of my journey battling the cancer in my throat and neck my Dr.’s talked to me about the importance of having a positive attitude.  I like to think that I’ve been able to live up to that advice for the past 10 weeks but the truth is there have been times…there have been moments when I have really battled with anxiety and fear.  But each time that has happened I have been able, eventually, to remember that Satan deals in anxiety and fear and because of the shed blood of Jesus on the cross, Satan has no power over me.  Each time I have reminded myself that Satan hates to hear the name of Jesus, the Word of God and the truth about Jesus’ death on the cross that rendered him powerless.  So I have reminded him of those things and moved on.  It wasn’t always easy, but it was always right. 

Another positive thing is the way my wife, Sandy, has been able to remind me that from the very beginning when my Dr.’s all told me that this cancer was very treatable and curable, everything they have said to me has been positive.  That continues to be the case and so that’s what I need to remember.  The latest example happened today when I saw my Radiology Oncologist and he was just amazed at where I was in the recovery process.  He told me that I still had a lot of healing to do in my mouth and throat but that he was just amazed at how I looked and my level of energy.  At one point he called me his “miracle patient” and said that I was an encouragement to him and his staff.  They all know that I’ve got thousands of people praying for me and they acknowledged that power in my recovery. 

So here I am a little more than two weeks out from my treatment and I’m doing really well.  I’ve been getting out and doing a variety of different things and I’m getting more and more anxious to return to church.  Tomorrow morning (Sat/10^th) Sandy, Tricia and I and a friend are heading south for a few days.  We’ll be in the Savannah, GA – Hilton Head, S.C. area.  We’ll visit my brother and his family, walk on the beach and I’m hoping to hit some golf balls.  We’re all looking forward to the trip.  Please continue to pray for me and my family.  This week I’ve begun (slowly) to try and eat and it is a real challenge.  But I’ve already overcome some huge challenges so there’s no reason to believe that I can’t do this. 

As always I want you to know how much I love you and how much your encouragement and prayers have meant to me.  I know I wouldn’t be doing as well as I am today without you.  Because of that I’ll close this blog with a new list of prayer requests as well as some ongoing.

1.     The complete destruction and eradication of the cancer in my neck and throat (still several weeks away from a follow-up PET scan).

2.     The ability to transition from the feeding tube to being able to eat by mouth (there’s no timetable pressure here but I’ll be glad when the feeding tube can be removed).

3.     The ability to produce saliva (the radiation has really burned up my saliva glands…some will return…some may not).

4.     The return of my taste buds (my Dr. told me this could take a long time but then he followed that up by saying, “But you’re doing so well, who knows?”).

5.     Safe travel to Savannah and back.

See you soon,

Pastor Chris

“Oh what a beautiful morning!”

February 22, 2012, oh what a beautiful morning!  It’s the day after the completion of my treatments and when I stepped outside my front door I was overwhelmed by the beauty and the warmth (for February) of the day.  It felt so good that I had to walk down to the corner of the block and back which is something I haven’t felt like doing in a long time.  I don’t want to be too subjective but it was hard not to feel like this was a special gift from God to me.  And I’m very thankful.

I’m sorry I haven’t been too active with my blog or tweets or facebook posts lately.  The last few weeks of treatment have been hard and my prayer has just been, “Lord, give me the strength to make it through the day.”  Please don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.  I haven’t even had much contact with my family and closest friends.  I can’t talk for very long so that eliminates the phone and I just haven’t had the energy to get online.  But I woke up today ready to move forward.  Now, I don’t know exactly what that will look like because God is in charge of the healing, I just know that I’m ready.  My Dr.’s have told me that the next significant thing to happen is a second PET scan to determine the result of the treatments.  My ENT Dr. told me that this could not be scheduled until my mouth, tongue and throat have healed so there can be a clear “canvas” so to speak for the scan.  No two people heal the same so this can take anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks.  The Dr.’s also told me that it would probably take a few weeks before I start to really feel better.  So here’s my request for all of you, please pray with me that the healing process would begin and would go as quickly as possible.  I’m not going to try and rush things, I just want to feel better and get on with my life.  

As always our prayer needs to be that the combination of chemotherapy and radiation has completely destroyed and eradicated the cancer from my neck and my throat.  My Dr.’s tell me they are very pleased with what they see but the PET scan will be the test that give us the results.  Please continue to pray for me and my family that our spirits and attitudes will stay as upbeat and positive as possible.  Our enemy the devil likes to creep in and sow negative fearful thoughts and sometimes it’s hard not to listen.  So I need my church family to surround my family with a hedge of prayer and protection.  

I want you to know how much I love and miss you all.  Not being able to be in church, see your faces, sing God’s praise, and preach His Word has been so difficult.  But I’m thankful for the faithfulness that you have demonstrated during my absence.  And I’m very grateful to Andrew, my brother Kenneth and now our interim preacher, John Russell for filling in for me.  And I can’t tell you how proud I am of our entire staff led by our Executive Pastor, Alan Baumlein, as they have continued to lead the ministry of the church.  And I want to thank our Elders for their love and support of me and my family.  I hope that we all recognize just how special Mount Pleasant is and how much God has blessed us.  I love this church!

Jesus cares,

Pastor Chris

Hang On!

Today was my 15^th trip to the Cancer Center (sounds strange to read those words).  At the end of this week, on Friday, I will receive radiation treatment number 18 so I’ll be just past the half-way mark of this journey.  And while I’m in a battle every single day I meet someone who is in a bigger and more frightening battle than me.  Today I met a man named Rusty who is 54 (one year older than me).  He’s having radiation to treat a cancer in his throat right on the edge of his vocal chords.  The Dr.’s have told him there’s a good chance me will lose his voice.  On top of that he’s already had three back surgeries and a year ago December he was laid off from his job and hasn’t been able to find a new one or qualify for disability.  NOTE: I’d like to ask you to add Rusty to your prayer list.

If you walk into the doors of the Cancer Center than no doubt you’re going through a difficult time in your life.  But when difficult times come we need to remember that the Bible teaches us that there are certain things that we need to hang on to in order to make it through.  One great example is found in Psalm 20.  Let me just list them for you.

1.     Hang on to your hope.  Psalm 20:1 says, May the Lord answer you when you are in distress (trouble); may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.  (NIV)  In verse 5, he writes, May we shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God (those banners should say “Great Joy!”).  When you’re in a difficult time in your life you need to remind yourself that while things are ugly now,  God is going to see you through

2.     Hang on to your commitments.  Psalm 20:3 says, May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.  (NIV)  Oftentimes when we are in a time of difficulty we are tempted to stop everything we’re doing or at least put it on hold until things turn around.  But when you stop being faithful to God (in worship – in service – in giving) it’s almost like you’re saying, “This isn’t working…I’m not getting my money’s worth for all that I’m contributing, if I were I wouldn’t be going through this difficult time.”  But that’s not how it works.  We need to hang on to our commitments even in difficult times because God continues to see our faithfulness and He won’t forget.  Hebrews 6:10 says, For God is not unjust.  He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers as you still do.  (NIV)  NOTE: I’ve been thrilled at the attendance and the giving that have taken place over the past three weeks while I have been in treatment.  Thank you, church family, for hanging on to your commitments in this difficult time for all of us.

3.     Hang on to your dreams.  Psalm 20:4 says, May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.  (NIV)  When I was first diagnosed with this cancer I have to be honest and say I had thoughts that I might not ever be able to preach and lead the church again.  I don’t have those thoughts anymore.  Instead, I look forward to coming back and being a better preacher and leader than ever before.  That’s my hearts desire.

4.     Hang on to your prayers.  Psalm 20:5b says, May the Lord grant all your requests.  (NIV)  God wants to answer our prayers so we need to continue to pray.  What a blessing it is to know that so many people, all over the world, are praying for me.  And my encouragement is to be persistent in those prayers.

5.     Hang on to your priorities.  Psalm 20:7 says, Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.  (NIV)  There’s nothing like walking through a difficult experience to help you see exactly where your priorities need to be.  As Christians, our priority is the Sovereign God who created and sustains all things.  Every other choice falls short. 

Thank you all for your continued love and support.  Thank you for your faithfulness to the ministry of Mount Pleasant Christian Church.  And thank you for praying for me each and every day.  I love you and miss you and look forward to the day I will be back in the pulpit.  Here are some updated prayer requests:

1.     Pray that my pain meds will ease the discomfort in my throat that’s only going to get worse over the next few weeks (this is a big deal when I try to sleep).

2.     Pray that I maintain a satisfactory weight.  Right now I’ve lost about eight pounds.  I’m told that those who lose the least amount of weight do the best.

3.     Pray the radiation that my thyroid is receiving as a part of the overall treatment will not do any permanent damage. 

4.     Pray for me to have the strength to meet this challenge one day at a time.

Jesus cares,

Pastor Chris

Random Thoughts

 As I write this blog I’m seven days into my radiation therapy which is exactly 1/5^th of the way through.  That might not sound like a big deal to some but it’s a big deal to me.  Every day closer to the end is a big deal to me.  It’s also enough time for me to formulate some random thoughts about where I’ve been and what I’ve experienced.

When the Dr. first told me that I had cancer my first feeling was anger.  But I wasn’t angry with God.  I was angry that cancer is a part of this sinful fallen world and that anyone has to have it.  As time went on that anger remained but it slowly became replaced by a resolute trust in a Sovereign God who doesn’t make mistakes.  That’s not to say that I don’t have my “down” times. The absolute last thing that I want to do is make it seem as if I’m some kind of spiritual giant in this journey.  Sandy and I both continue to have moments when fear creeps in.  We continue to shed tears and fight the temptation to ask, “Why me?”  But here’s the great thing about faith…it’s a foundational thing that keeps the fear and the tears and the questions from being in control. 

Every time I go to the cancer center I’m struck by the kindness of those who are working/serving there.  I guess we get used to some pretty lousy customer service when we shop and dine, etc.  But I’ve encountered a lot of kindness in my cancer journey.  There should really be a way to honor people who give hope to the hurting.

I seem to be the youngest person in the Cancer Center…and I’m not that young.  I mentioned that to Sandy today and then said, “That just gives me a longer period of time to be a cancer survivor.” 

I ran across this quote today when I was doing some study.  “God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them.”  (John Aughey)  I don’t think I have cancer because God is punishing me.  That thought never crossed my mind.  I do believe, however, that every Christian could use some cleansing on a practical level.  I’m praying that God would do just that for me.

One thought that keeps coming to my mind is, “Will my life ever get back to being normal?”  In some ways I believe that it will.  I’ll have normal days with normal activities and normal outcomes.  At the same time I hope that it doesn’t in the sense that, just like Jacob walked with a limp after he wrestled with God (Genesis 32), I can see great value in “limping” through the rest of my life because the limp will always remind me of an incredible encounter with God. 

Finally, one of the things that sustains me is the knowledge that thousands of people continue to pray for me.  I don’t know where I’d be without the prayers of God’s people.  Please continue to pray for me, Sandy, Andrew, Tricia, Kara and Grace.  I love you all and can’t tell you how much I miss being with you each weekend. 

Jesus cares,

Pastor Chris

Specific Prayers:

1.     Pray that I will be able to eat and drink and maintain my weight.

2.     Pray that some of the “extra” problems I’ve had this first couple of weeks (cold – stomach problems) will go away and not make this more difficult than it has to be.

3.     Pray for my Dr.’s (Dr. Garrett – Dr. Fairchild – Dr. Smith) as well as the nurses and therapists who are caring for me (too many to name).

4.     Pray that my witness will be strong.

5.     Pray that every day the cancer in my neck and throat is being completely destroyed and eradicated from my body.

6.     Pray God’s blessing on the church and all of our staff.

There are two things I believe about 2012 at Mount Pleasant Christian Church.  First, it’s going to be a year of great learning for me and two, it’s going to be one of the greatest years in the history of the church. 

I write those words as I find myself in the beginning stages of my treatment for a cancer that began in my right tonsil and has spread to two lymph nodes on the right side of my neck.  Already I am learning the importance of patience and allowing someone else to be in control of what’s happening in my life.  Those are not easy lessons…especially for me.  I’m also learning the value of trusting others to do what I often convince myself I can do better.  That’s an extremely difficult lesson to learn.  But I know that God is involved in all of this and when the conclusion to this chapter of my life is written it will be for my good and God’s glory. 

I also believe that God is going to do some great things at Mount Pleasant throughout this process as well.  We just finished an incredible year of ministry filled with too many highlights to mention.  And I can tell you that, from a leadership perspective, we’ve got some great plans for the future.  In fact, as I write these words I am chomping at the bit to share some exciting news about future expansion but I’ve got to wait until all the pieces are in place.  In the meantime, I want to encourage you to continue to be faithful in your worship, service and stewardship.  I’m not going to be able to be in the pulpit for a while but I know you’ll be blessed by the speakers we’ve got lined up.  Here’s a look at the next several weeks:

• January 7/8 – Andrew Philbeck (my son and one of my favorite preachers)
• January 14/15 – Kenneth Philbeck (my brother and the East Campus Pastor at Savannah Christian Church, Savannah, Ga)
• January 21/22 – Kenneth Philbeck
• January 28/29 – Andrew Philbeck
• February 4/5 – Ajai Lall (President and Director of Central India Christian Mission)
• February 11/12 – Ajai Lall

I know you’ll be blessed by each message these men will deliver and I believe that this will be an opportunity to have a front row seat to see how God is going to continue to build His church even in circumstances we would have never sought on our own. 

Please continue to pray for me and my family and pray for Mount Pleasant.  Paul writes about the power of perseverance in I Corinthians 9.  My favorite part comes in verse 24 when he writes, Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.  (NIV)  I’m looking forward to seeing how God will bless and reward each of us for continuing to run the race of faithfulness.

Jesus cares,

Pastor Chris