3-31-2009

It’s Sunday night and after a great day of worship and a frustrating afternoon of watching my team get pummeled in the NCAA tournament, I find myself reflecting about the previous week. I flew to Tulsa on Tuesday of this past week to meet with both of my brothers and one of my sisters about what the future looks like for my mother now that my younger brother is moving to Savannah, Georgia. The meeting was originally scheduled for Thursday but got postponed until Friday. I left on Tuesday so that I could be at my old church on Wednesday night when they had a “going away” celebration for my brother and so he and I could drive to Springfield, Missouri and play golf with our dad and one of our uncles. It ended up being a very full and emotional four days.

When we met with the woman who runs Regency House, the place where my mother currently lives, she told us that she was convinced my mother has Alzheimer’s. This isn’t a medical diagnosis, but she has spent her entire professional life caring for older people. The woman who comes in a few times a week to help my mother out was also at the meeting, and she agreed with the conclusion. We learned at the meeting that my mother’s situation is worse than we thought and that her actions and inability to live beyond the moment have jeopardized her ability to stay in her current home. I can’t tell you right now what we will be doing about this, but we all understand that some big decisions need to be made in a relatively short period of time. Please keep my brothers, sisters, and me in your prayers.

The thing that I am most thankful for with regard to my mother is that she always took me to church. My mother wasn’t raised in the greatest family environment and made some really poor choices early in her adult life. I never knew my biological father because they divorced when I was very young. When my mother remarried, her second husband adopted my older brother and sister and me, and he is the only father I’ve ever known. They were married for eighteen years and divorced twenty-seven years ago at the exact same time Sandy and I were getting married. In those twenty-seven years, I have probably seen my father less than ten times, but thankfully, that number is on the increase. While I was growing up, my mother never really seemed to have the time or maybe even the inclination to be what I would call a nurturing mother (not the way Sandy has always been with our children). But she took me to church and that church became the nurturing family that I needed and longed for. Maybe you have heard me say it before, but I have long believed that local church saved my life. It was in that church I gave my heart to Christ and discovered God had a plan and purpose for me that was greater than anything I had ever thought or dreamed of before. And it all happened because my mother took me to church. There were plenty of times I didn’t want to go, but that was never an option for me. My mother took me to church.

I’m going to be honest and tell you that I don’t understand why some parents today allow their children to make their own choice about whether or not they attend church, not just weekend services but various children and student ministry activities as well. Those were never an option for my children just like they were never an option for me. I could have looked at my kids and said, “You know they’re good kids, they’re spiritually mature, they get what they need from me,” and then let them make their own choice. But here’s something I always understood about my children. Even though they both were really good kids and had a certain level of spiritual maturity, they were still kids. Over the years I made them do several things they didn’t want to do because I knew it was good for them. I don’t have any regrets about those things today.

I don’t have a perfect mother, but I have one who took me to church. She doesn’t remember today that I was just home for a visit with her, but forty years ago she was able to see past my complaints and excuses and keep me focused on what she knew was best for me. Maybe that was because she didn’t have those opportunities growing up, and she didn’t want me to make the same mistakes she did. All I know for sure is that it was the right thing to do. I’m not a perfect father, but today my children are very active in church. My son is a middle school youth pastor in Grand Prairie, Texas, and my daughter is actively involved as a youth coach and worship leader in our student ministry. I can’t help but believe that one of the reasons why is because I took them to church. Not going was never an option. They didn’t always have dynamic youth pastors, and there were times when the churches I served didn’t even have any other kids their same age. But I always took them to church. Thankfully for Sandy and me, they always wanted to go. But even if they didn’t, I still took them.

There’s no such thing as a perfect church. Mount Pleasant isn’t a perfect church. But we serve a perfect God who accomplishes His purposes through imperfect people. And after all, that’s what the church is, people. So, as I reflect on my mother, my strong admonition to any parent who might take the time to read this incredibly long post is take your children to church. Don’t leave it up to them, don’t make it optional, and don’t let other things get in the way. One day, I promise you, you won’t regret it.

Pastor Chris

Family

Recently Sandy and I traveled to Phoenix where I attended a conference and then spent a few extra days together celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary. While we were there, we spent an evening with some friends from Oklahoma. About six months before I moved to Greenwood, I hired Danny Hughes to be my Worship and Arts Pastor. I was very excited to add Danny to my staff and felt bad that I only got a few months with him. After faithfully serving the church in Oklahoma for the past eight years, Danny and his wife Kristi moved to Chandler, Arizona, where he is now the Worship Programming Pastor at the Chandler Christian Church.

As Sandy and I were driving back to our hotel after our dinner together, we talked about how one of the most difficult aspects of ministry is it often takes you so far away from family, friends, and familiarity. Danny and Kristi and their two boys are now living hundreds of miles away from their families, their home towns, and everything that’s familiar. And while they are very excited about being in their new home and church because they know that it’s God’s plan for their lives, that doesn’t mean they don’t feel the emotional pangs of being away.

I know that there are many people right here at Mount Pleasant whose work has taken them away from their families and their homes, but I want to ask you to think for a minute about those on our staff who are a long way from home. I say that because when you are in vocational ministry, your opportunities for travel and vacation can be pretty limited. Think about it. Most people have the freedom each week to take the weekend or even a long weekend and use it to visit family to “go home.” That’s not the case when your every weekend revolves around church services. I’m not saying that as a complaint, just a matter of fact. In a couple of weeks I’ll be traveling to Tulsa to meet with my brothers and sisters to talk about my mom and her living situation. I don’t know what the exact days will be yet, but I do know that it will be easier for my brother and sisters who aren’t in full-time ministry to do this on the weekend. Some people say, “Just take time off during the week.” That sounds good but unless you take the weekend off as well, you don’t really have time off because you’ve still got to do whatever your individual ministry requires you to do to be ready for the weekend.

Why am I writing this? I’m not writing it to whine or complain. I’m writing it to ask you for a favor. In Mark 10:29-30, Jesus said these words to his disciples, I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age. (NIV) What does that mean? It means that God rewards the sacrifices we make for the kingdom. I don’t really think that Sandy and I and our children have had to sacrifice anything significant for the sake of the kingdom…certainly not in comparison to other believers. But I realized a long time ago that when it came to serving Christ, my life did not belong to me. And I have tried to be faithful to follow him wherever he was leading. That led me from Texas to Oklahoma to Indiana. And while this is our home, there is a sense in which it’s not (I hope you don’t misunderstand that). This is not where we grew up. This is not where our family is, etc. And there have been many times when we have missed and longed for our family and friends. There are moments, still, when I wish my children could have grown up around our family and our oldest friends. But I will tell you this that over the years God has given us thousands of people to be our family and friends. Because that’s what God does. I have two earthly brothers, but I have hundreds of spiritual brothers. I have two earthly sisters, but I have hundreds of spiritual sisters. I have many people who have been like a mother and father to me. And it’s made my life rich. It’s made our lives rich.

Here’s what I’m asking you to do. Be a brother or a sister—a father or a mother—maybe even a grandparent to those folks on our staff who are far away from family and home. Be the blessing or reward that God promises to those who are faithful. We’ve got some folks on our staff who have come a long way to be a part of the Mount Pleasant family. What I’m asking you to do is make it your plan to be a family to them.


Jesus cares,
Pastor Chris